Part of self-honesty is to examine whether you are evading some issues that you would not like to think about, out of fear of acting on the conclusions you will reach. A person who is honest with himself will not avoid any issue, because he doesn’t want to hide anything from himself. However, what if our thinking about this issue will lead us to accept wrong conclusions, and make us feel guilty for not treading the wrong path?

Let me give an example: many people brought up by religious parents are taught to believe that we must dedicate every breathing moment in performing Islamic rituals, or gaining Islamic knowledge. Activities such as walking, swimming and archery are tolerated, if not encouraged, only because they are encouraged in Islam. But sports, such as football or basketball, are frowned upon because they have not been recommended by Islam, and are pastimes that distract us from our worship and making the most use of one’s time. Therefore, watching TV (other than Islamic programs or the news), or watching movies, or spending time with friends, etc are all discouraged, if not banned.

When someone associates religion to such an outlook, or when he believes that the “right thing to do” would be to dedicate one’s life to rituals and reading, he will naturally feel guilty for doing anything else. Therefore, if he is not personally convinced that this is what he wants to do, and to ease this guilt, he must evade the ideas that he was brought up to accept. He would play football, or watch movies, but ignores the instructions that he has been given. His sense of guilt can only be numbed if he does not address the issue lurking in his head: “Why aren’t you doing what you believe is right?”

The reason why he avoids the question is because he doesn’t want to accept the answer. He doesn’t want to admit that what he’s doing is wrong, and so he chooses to avoid thinking about the whole issue. His life can go on as long as he doesn’t open the subject up. But by abandoning the issue, he compromises his self-honesty. He’s not discovering for himself why he’s not dealing with the issue, and what he can do to resolve the conflict between his actions and the conclusions that he would reach if he thought about the issue.

The result of self-honesty in this case, is that it would lead him to admit that he should be doing what he thinks is right, and to abandon all the activities which he believes are a waste of his time. He may not question his parents’ teachings, because he’s not aware of an alternative. The danger, here, is in accepting what his parents have taught him, even when it’s wrong and will lead to unhappiness. We are obliged to follow any moral principle we accept to be true, not because others say so, but because we cannot accept to do what we are certain to be wrong. Otherwise, we would be damaging our souls by living a contradiction. A human being cannot tolerate a contradiction for too long, but we always have the option of looking away. This “looking away” can be healthy when the contradiction is between sensible actions and a corrupt “moral” principle.

There are many cases in which the ideas about morality and theology that we have come to accept are wrong, but we do not properly understand both fields, and so take these ideas for granted. We avoid thinking about morality because our personality and the life we would enjoy leading are in conflict with our understanding of morality. We assume that what we are doing is wrong, but don’t want to admit it to ourselves, even when what we are doing is right, and what we are taught is wrong.

This is when self-honesty becomes damaging.

I wouldn’t totally dismiss the importance of self-honesty, but cannot encourage it in examining the issues that one lacks understanding in. Otherwise, he will feel compelled to accept wrong conclusions. I have come across many Muslims who think that their Islamic responsibility is to travel to some distant land and engage in jihad, but feel guilty that they are leading “normal” lives. Some Muslims feel guilty for having a profession, when they think they should isolate themselves in an Islamic seminary to study Islam. I can’t possibly enumerate the different ideas that people have blindly accepted to be true, but are false and damaging, yet they choose to ignore thinking about them because they want to lead their lives according to how they “feel” they should lead it.

Their “feeling” is not whim or sinful desire to do wrong things, but their human nature, which the false ideas they have accepted to be true are in conflict with. Their “feelings” are more accurate in determining what is right and wrong than their beliefs, and by considering their ideas with all honesty, they may label their “feelings” as sinful, and adopt the ideas that will deform their nature and take them on a path of misery.

The solution isn’t to abandon self-honesty, but to be aware of our feelings towards our ideas, and to broaden our understanding of the issues that we have been avoiding, so we can discover the interpretations that we were not aware of, and to reach the correct ideas that we should embrace.

Rather than present the exercise for now, I think I should deal with some of the fundamental issues that form our understanding of morality and religion, so that I can offer a perspective of these topics that is not in conflict with our human nature, and which we can consider with all honesty.

I felt the need to organize this project because of the negative experiences I have had with Muslims in Speakers’ Corner. Most of them are confrontational, obnoxious and extremely stupid. And having realised that commonsense was not very common, I thought that I should participate in the discussions, to at least show people that there are Muslims with different ideas and a different approach to the ones that frequent Speakers’ Corner..

Overall, my experience in Speakers’ Corner was a positive one, and I learnt many things throughout my involvement in the project. The greatest weakness in the approach of the Muslims is that they seek to teach, but not to learn. They want to speak, but not to listen. This not only prevents them from benefiting from the people they speak to, but it develops the same attitude in them. When others struggle to get their message across to Muslims, they either give up and walk away, or begin talking and no one would be listening..

Anyways, Speakers’ Corner isn’t the topic of this post, but what I learnt from one of the people there is. He said that the reason why people talk a lot about the weather was because they think it’s rude (i.e. wrong, i.e. a taboo) to talk about religion or politics. The weather doesn’t cause confrontations and people tend to agree on what the weather is like (if the sun is out, I doubt anyone would disagree). Religion and politics, on the other hand (both of them on the same hand… I only have two hands!), usually cause friction and tension, which many people do not think is appropriate to start or take part in..

I have also heard that one of the “rules” in Toastmasters (or at least one of their clubs in Kuwait) is that presentations cannot be about religion or politics..

I strongly disagree with this opinion. The problem is not solely the fault of the topics, but the way in which these topics are approached. I say “solely” because many people base their political or religious opinions on their emotions, whereas they use their senses to determine what the weather is like. And since you usually can’t hold a peaceful discussion when two people hold opposing views, but don’t know why they hold these views, the topics themselves are regarded as off-limits..

Rather than discourage discussion, we should encourage understanding. We do not need to accept other people’s opinions if we disagree with them, nor feel compelled to change them, especially if we cannot offer valid reasons for why they should. We should be aware of other people’s beliefs, and learn to listen to what they have to say, before expecting them to hear what we have to say..

There is an important lesson in this, for both Muslims and non-Muslims. Many, many non-Muslims adopted the taboo-attitude, and thought that they should let Muslims believe what they wanted to believe, without seeking to understand what Islam was about. But when “Islam” was being accused of promoting terrorism, and posing a threat to the West, they began to realise the power of ideology, and what actions it can incite. By this time, their understanding of Islam was light-years behind, which left them vulnerable to the pseudo-experts on Islam, who offered their own understanding of the religion, and affirmed that it was behind the terrorist acts..

Muslims who thought that they can live peacefully in the West without raising the issue of what Islam is about were light-years behind in their ability to express their beliefs, especially to a Western audience. Their failure to defend their religion and to help others gain the correct understanding of Islam perpetuated the problem. Now, to cover up their failures, they only seek to silence the critics of Islam, rather than to present reasoned arguments to change people’s impressions of their religion..

To promote understanding and tolerance, we must promote dialogue rather than prohibit it. As Imam Ali (peace be on him) said: “people fear what they are ignorant of.“

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. And while I could’ve written this post yesterday, I wanted to ensure that I’ll survive the day before writing about how ridiculous the superstition is

Every Friday the 13th, I remember when my school had a basketball match with another school, and someone pointed out that it was Friday the 13th, which meant that we might lose the match out of bad luck. After a brief pause, someone (far more observant!) asked: “What makes you think we’re the team that’s gonna have the bad luck?”

What’s amusing about superstitions in general is that they can act as self-fulfilling prophecies, or be the easiest explanation for unfortunate events. The fear of bad luck can lead us to act foolishly or with hesitation, resulting in negative consequences (this might explain the rise in traffic related accidents on Friday the 13th, as mentioned in the Wikipedia article).

A very common superstition in the Arab world is the belief in the evil eye. While many Muslims assert that it’s an Islamic belief, I’m not convinced. The “funniest” response I get when I express my disagreement with the belief is: “It’s in the Qur’an!”

The most likely verse being referred to is in Surat Al-Falaq (the Chapter of Daybreak), where we invoke God for protection from: “the evil of the envious when he envies” (Shakir’s translation). This verse cannot be unequivocally said to refer to the evil eye. Some interpretations of this verse point out that envy becomes harmful when the envious acts on his envy. That is, envy doesn’t transmit negative waves of evilness (if you think that’s a childish, Power Rangers way of putting it, ask any person who believes in the evil eye to offer you an explanation!), but can be the motive behind evil actions.

For example, an envious colleague may try to hide an opportunity from you out of fear that you will prosper from it (even though your prosperity will not hinder his). Someone may say a hurtful comment when they notice that you are being successful, when they are not: “Don’t think you can achieve everything in life,” “Why are you so lucky?” or “Have you gained weight?” (when you actually lost weight!).

Such remarks are intended to put a cap on your achievements, either by changing your focus from accomplishment to the fear of failure, or to induce guilt in you for being successful. And when your “luck” does run out, it’s not because of the “waves of evilness” but rather the psychological effect their words had on you.

The reason why I’m strongly suspicious of the association between the evil eye and Islam is because the belief in the evil eye is part of a malevolent theology, where the good are punished for their achievements and the bad triumph by their failures and weaknesses. Those who believe in the evil eye don’t believe that it’s a phenomenon like any other, but that it’s the overriding principle of the universe. All evil stems from the intergalactic forces of the evil eye! This, in the vast majority of cases, cripples people from aspiring to achieve anything, out of fear that it will be taken away from them. It’s not simply a belief in the evil eye, but what I’d like to call the evil-eye complex.

People suffering from the evil-eye complex don’t regard the evil eye as a possibility, but rather as an inevitability. They do not think that they are prone to the evil eye, but deserve to be struck by it. They do not count their blessings, but count their worries as a result of their blessings.

Although I admit that people shouldn’t flaunt their fortunes to attract envy (many marketing campaigns regard envy as something to pursue: e.g. “be the envy of your friends”), they should not be anxious over their blessings, or fear to live because they might be noticed by others.

The evil-eye complex accuses God of siding with the wicked, which is a false impression, and one which can destroy our spirituality (how can a good person gravitate towards a deity who favours the bad?). We must re-think our understanding of God, and remove any belief from our belief system that is in conflict with God’s beautiful attributes.

God deserves that we see Him for Who He is, and the good deserve to benefit from Who He is.